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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443524">don’t make me fall in love again (if you won’t be here)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coykoi/pseuds/coykoi'>coykoi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sing a little song my way [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Santa Tell Me, Song fic, Yes yes it is, but hey there’s fluff!!, christmas fic already you say?, tis the seasonnn, whoops I dropped some angst in here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:29:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,139</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coykoi/pseuds/coykoi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Santa, tell me if he really cares</i>
</p><p>
  <i>'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Next year.”</i>
</p><p> </p><p>alternatively: michelle has to spend Christmas Eve alone for the first time</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones/Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sing a little song my way [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Spideychelle Shuffle</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>don’t make me fall in love again (if you won’t be here)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jsscshvlr/gifts">Jsscshvlr</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yes it’s only November. And?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Beautiful, isn’t it?”</p><p>Michelle casts a brief glance at her mother and nods, a small smile on her face. She can’t help but agree, knowing that New York during the winter—especially during Christmas time—is a sight. The lights, the snow, the trees, it’s all very festive to go with the most wonderful time of the year. </p><p>
  <i>Most wonderful time of the year.</i>
</p><p>The sentiment is almost funny in a bitter, slightly mocking way, Michelle knowing that she isn’t feeling the same holiday spirit as she had previous years, and for good reason.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s really nice,” Michelle says, averting her eyes and crossing her arms as she slinks further back into their apartment. Their portable fireplace is burning and their tree lights are on, but it’s far from warm and bright inside.</p><p>“Michelle,” her mother replies, and her tone is gentle yet pitying. “I know everything has been a bit hard, especially lately. Christmas was your guys’ holiday, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say that,” she responds, rolling her shoulders to try to ease the tension. “I’m okay, honestly, but you should go out. I know you said you had this reservation with your friends tonight.”</p><p>“Honey…I’m not going to leave you alone on Christmas Eve.”</p><p>Michelle manages an all too brittle laugh, feeling a growing pit in her stomach as she says, “No, really, it’s fine. You guys have had this planned months in advance, way before…before everything happened. Go out and enjoy it.”</p><p>It’s hard, knowing she wants her mother to have a good evening despite not being able to have one herself, hard having to celebrate the holidays without all of your loved ones. The memories of their past years together are much too painful to think about right now, let alone to leave the house with.</p><p>“Only if you’re sure, Michelle…”</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. Go out. Have a nice time,” Michelle assures her with a shake of her head. “Please.”</p><p>Her mother gives her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, saying, “I know it’s been a difficult year for you, ‘Chelle, and I’m so sorry. But, I’m sure this next one will be much better. I’ll make sure of that.”</p><p>Michelle nods, blinking around tears that have sprung out of nowhere, and tries to ignore the fact that this is the first Christmas in years that they’re not celebrating together—that she’ll be baking cookies and watching holiday movies and falling asleep this evening alone.</p><p>Christmas really was their holiday.</p><p>“Have a good Christmas Eve, Mom,” Michelle tells her, swallowing thickly before retreating back to the living room, a cup of eggnog in hand. She falls back on the couch, wrapping a blanket around herself despite the raging fire.</p><p>Being alone in the apartment is something that she’s used to, but never on this day of the year, and it’s a hard pill to swallow.</p><p>Michelle rests her head back against the couch, her gaze tracing the shadows that dance across the ceiling. She closes her eyes, silently wishing she could go back and prevent the dominos from toppling, the events that had them into this situation.</p><p>As time passes, the apartment grows colder and the fire begins to die out, Michelle feels a chill in the air. She breathes out a breath of frustration and cracks an eye open, the light only getting dimmer.</p><p>It’s at that point she notices the apartment window is cracked open.</p><p>Cautiously, Michelle places her mug down and approaches the window, a blanket still wrapped around her. It’s snowing and windy, the Christmas lights decorated around the city the only thing visible for a second.</p><p>And then, well, a hand comes up against the glass, and all she can do is exhale sharply.</p><p>“Michelle,” his voice calls out softly, and she immediately drops the blanket in haste to push the window open further. “Em.”</p><p>“Oh, my god. What are you—why are you here?” Michelle asks, feeling her hands shake ever so slightly as he sits on the other side of the wall. She can’t see his face, not with that stupid mask on, but even just hearing his voice has sent her heart into overdrive. “Peter?”</p><p>“I couldn’t just break tradition,” Peter tells her and with a watery laugh, he pulls his mask off. Maybe he looks a little older, a little sadder, but there’s nothing about him she doesn’t recognize. “Tell me you didn’t bake anything without me.”</p><p>“You aren’t supposed to be here,” she whispers, yet pulls him through the window anyway so that they’re standing face-to-face. “You’re supposed to be in hiding.”</p><p>“And yet, you found me stuck outside your window,” he responds with a small smile. “Nothing much has changed, really. A Christmas miracle?”</p><p>“You managing to get here without being caught is a Christmas miracle in itself.” </p><p>“Man, your faith in me has really dwindled, huh?” Peter jokes, placing a hand over his heart, over her. Fingers tracing down her cheek, it doesn’t take long for him to pull her into his arms. </p><p>Michelle squeezes her eyes closed, his hold firm on her, and she manages the words, “Missed you,” against the crook of his neck.</p><p>“I missed you, too,” he mutters, voice muffled by her hair. “Enough that I don’t really care if I get in trouble for being here.”</p><p>“Pretty irresponsible of you.”</p><p>“I’m only irresponsible <i>for</i> you,” Peter teases, pulling back just enough to see her face. She lets him tuck a curl behind her ear, lets him brush his lips against her cheek, her forehead, her nose.</p><p>“Why don’t you commit, dork?” Michelle asks, and he smirks slightly, pulling something off the fireplace mantle, dangling it above their heads. </p><p>“Just waiting for the right moment, Em.” He holds the mistletoe with the same delicacy he has for her, and she tilts her face down ever so slightly, lips meeting in the middle. It warms her up more than any fire could. </p><p>“Love you,” she utters when they break, and his expression softens into something that makes Michelle feel like him being here really is her gift.</p><p>“I love you, too. I’m sorry that I haven’t come to visit sooner, but trust me when I say I really wanted to.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay. I know. When...when are you going to have to go back?” Michelle asks, despite not wanting to know the answer, but he merely smiles at her.</p><p>“Fury’s gonna have to pry me from your arms.”</p><p>“I’ll have you know, I've got a really strong grip.”</p><p>“We have movies to watch and cookies to bake, Em. Can’t break our streak now. Fury can wait until after we spend Christmas together,” he tells her, serious, and she has to breathe out a laugh, the lights of the tree sparkling behind him.</p><p>“It is tradition.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>me procrastinating writing fic by writing fic once more</p><p>tumblr and twitter are @coykoii :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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